\nIf you sit in the same seat week after week, that\u2019s fine, but don\u2019t hold onto it as if it\u2019s an entitlement. If we truly love our neighbor as ourselves, then looking out for the interest of others will be more important, and a warmly welcomed returning guest will be the result. So, come on everyone, move toward the center and leave space for the new guys (and may be a couple late people)! It\u2019s really not that hard.<\/p>\n
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2. \u201cBecome a member and then we\u2019ll talk about ministry opportunities\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 3. \u201cWould you like to take over the Sunday coffee service duties?\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 4. \u201cYou’d like to join our small group? Great! We’re in the middle of our current series, check back with me a a couple months\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 5. \u201cWe’d prefer if you wouldn’t wear that…\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 6. \u201cSo, what\u2019s your testimony?\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 7. \u201cYou\u2019re in the right place\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 8. \u201cPlease stand up if you are a new guest (so we can corral you later into a room and push our agenda on you whether you like it or not)\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n 9. \u201cGive generously, and I am talking to everyone here\u201d<\/strong> <\/p>\n
\nI understand that there are certain ministry positions that require particular skill and spiritual prerequisites, but each member of the body of Christ has something to offer. If a newcomer is a member of the body of Christ, don\u2019t discourage their enthusiasm in wanting to help out. Surely there is something they can do to serve the church even before they officially join. Let them know about various ministry opportunities and help them find something to contribute without being put on a waiting list.<\/p>\n
\nNow for the other extreme. It\u2019s one thing to discuss ministry\/serving opportunities with newbies who express interest in lending a hand, but desperately trying to enlist any warm body that comes through the doors of the church, just to fill the gaps, is plain wrong. Pray for the help you need, encourage committed members of your church community to get involved, but give those who are green some space to get to know the church.<\/p>\n
\nEven if there is no actual rule to exclude people from being a part of a small group or special ministry gathering, we can unintentionally make newcomers feel like a group is not open to them; even if unintentional, we build unspoken boundaries around a new series, close the metaphorical door after a new season is well on its way, or leave visitors feeling on the outside of a developing clique. Don\u2019t do it. Be inclusive.<\/p>\n
\nOk, we don\u2019t actually say it like that (I hope), but a nonverbal expression or action is sometimes as effective as the spoken word. Looking down on someone or giving them a weird vibe for not wearing what we believe are church appropriate clothes, is like saying as much. Imposing standards on people we don\u2019t even take the time to know and understand is just self-righteous and arrogant. I am not really sure any one of us really even knows what church appropriate clothes look like anyway. I am from Southern California and we are all over the map in church garb. Let\u2019s get to know the person before getting all judgmental about their outward appearance. It is the heart that matters. When the Lord reaches a person everything else will fall into place \u2013 but beware, it may not be to your standards.<\/p>\n
\nPresumption kills relationship. Just because they are returning to your church doesn\u2019t mean they are ready to spill their life story — even if it is one where God miraculously intervened. And what if the Holy Spirit has yet to move in and write a beautiful story out of a broken past? Take time to get to know people and find out where God has them at this point in their life, then seek to love and serve them. They may not speak \u201cChristianese\u201d so back off with the clich\u00e9.<\/p>\n
\nLet me tell you what they are thinking. \u201cI\u2019m in the right place? I just started going here \u2013 I don\u2019t even know myself if I\u2019m in the right place.\u201d This sort of comment is up there with \u201cGod told me you were the one I\u2019m going to marry\u201d. Oh really?! They are just checking out your church, let God decide whether your church will ultimately be \u201cright\u201d for them.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>Maybe those aren\u2019t the exact words, but something similar happened to me. We were encouraged to stand, so we did, only to find out that we gave ourselves away as possible converts. One of the pastors spent 20 minutes of our time selling us on the church, then pointed to the offering box before showing the door. Come on! Needless to say, we never visited that church again.<\/p>\n
\n<\/strong>Pressuring guests into giving is not only crass and awkward, it\u2019s also counter productive. You will lose a lot of people that way, and conversely, if you release the guests and new comers from giving, you may ultimately win them over. I find it so refreshing and clever when the leadership announces to the congregation, \u201cWe as members of this church count it a privilege to give, but if you are visiting, please feel no obligation.\u201d<\/p>\n
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