\nIn one of my seminary classes, my professor explained that there is no such church office as \u201cpastorswife.\u201d We have overseers, and deacons \u2014 those are obvious. But there is no such biblical church position as \u201cpastorswife<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n
His comment was, of course, intended to be humorous, but he also wanted to make a point. All too often, we take for granted the fact that the pastor is married, and that the pastor\u2019s spouse is expected to do the typical duties of a pastor\u2019s spouse.<\/p>\n
When we take the pastor\u2019s spouse for granted, we tend to minimize that person\u2019s significance and unique role in the church. The pastor\u2019s spouse has gifts, just like every Christian has gifts (2 Cor), but there ought to be no expectations of the spouse other than those that Scripture suggests.<\/p>\n
When discussing the requirements of an overseer, the Bible states simply that the overseers are to be the \u201chusband of one wife (1 Tim 3:3; Titus 1:6). In a passage discussing the qualifications for deacons, the Bible makes clear that \u201ctheir wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things,\u201d a statement which can presumably be applied to the overseer\u2019s wife as well.<\/p>\n
To take for granted the presence of the pastor\u2019s spouse, and to expect this individual to fulfill some clearly-defined role other than what the Bible says is misguided.Let us be thankful for the pastor\u2019s spouse, and the role that they play in the church. But let us not take them for granted.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t push the pastor\u2019s spouse too hard.<\/strong> If this quip were followed (and in some sad cases, it was), it would be demeaning to the God-given individuality and uniqueness of the spouse, let alone the \u201cvarieties of gifts\u201d and \u201cvarieties of activities\u201d given by the Spirit (1 Cor. 12:4-5).<\/p>\n The pastor\u2019s spouse is in the first place the pastor\u2019s spouse \u2014 whatever that means in that particular family and marriage. Spouses love one another, help one another, are in union with one another, and if God gives them children, they raise those children together. Their marriage is central to who they are and what they do. Church ministry is a part of the spouse\u2019s life, just as it is the part of any believer\u2019s life.<\/p>\n Wipe away any preconceived obligations of what a pastor\u2019s spouse is or does, and don\u2019t push these folks too hard.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Don\u2019t overlook the pastor\u2019s spouse.<\/strong> Some pastor\u2019s spouses may prefer it this way \u2014 to say out of the limelight and attention. Keep in mind, however, that the pastor\u2019s spouse may value the ministry and encouragement of the church body just as much as the pastor.<\/p>\n Being the spouse of a pastor isn\u2019t an easy job. There are unique challenges that come with the territory. Few, apart from pastors spouses themselves, understand such challenges. Don\u2019t let your pastor\u2019s spouse become neglected or undeserved.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Don\u2019t place the pastor\u2019s spouse on a pedestal.<\/strong> No human being is capable of withstanding such sanctimonious scrutiny. The problem is that we compulsively look to such people as a model of right behavior. The pastor\u2019s spouse becomes the standard of the godly spouse, and all look to them for their example. The line, \u201cI saw Pastor\u2019s Spouse doing it, too!\u201d becomes either a bit of juicy gossip or an excuse.<\/p>\n Please recognize that the pastor\u2019s spouse is mere mortal \u2014 a growing, struggling, sometimes-sinning Christian. You\u2019ll have to look elsewhere for your super saint.<\/p>\n God has given us pastors and even the pastor\u2019s spouse, if there is one, for our edification. But, as we\u2019ve often said, ministry goes both ways. Instead of taking them for granted, expecting too much from them, overlooking them, or placing them under holy scrutiny, let us encourage them, befriend them, and treat them like normal people.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s risky to talk about pastors, which is what we do a lot here. But it\u2019s even riskier to talk about the pastor\u2019s spouse! Our goal in this article is to recognize the pastor\u2019s spouse, and discuss the often-overlooked importance of their role. Every church is different. Every marriage has its own unique characteristics. Every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10693,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[2307,4154,405],"tags":[1882,1732],"class_list":{"0":"post-10692","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-christian-lifestyle","8":"category-church-resources-church-resources","9":"category-pastor-how-to","10":"tag-ministry-tip","11":"tag-pastors-wife"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/blogrouting.sharefaith.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/Pastors-Spouse_480.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n
\nOne of the problems that stems from taking the pastor\u2019s spouse for granted is pushing them too hard. In my Christian tradition, it was sometimes joked that a good pastor\u2019s wife should be able to play the piano, sing in the choir, teach Sunday School, and make an amazing meal for Sunday dinner after church. In my Christian college, the \u201cpreacher boys\u201d were supposedly on the lookout for a \u201cgodly but good-looking girl\u201d who could fulfill all these important obligations.<\/p>\n
\nWhen you are the spouse of a pastor, there is the risk of fading into oblivion. The pastor is the one speaking, leading, guiding, teaching \u2014 the one in front. The pastor\u2019s spouse on the other hand, may become marginalized.<\/p>\n
\nThe pastor\u2019s wife, like the proverbial pastor\u2019s kids, are expected to be on their best behavior at all times. Somehow, because of the marital tie to the Right Reverend, the spouse must possess the holy glow of perfection at all times.<\/p>\n![\"divider-1\"](\"https:\/\/www.sharefaith.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/divider-1.jpg\")
<\/p>\n![\"danielpic-1\"](\"https:\/\/www.sharefaith.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/danielpic-1.jpg\")
Daniel Threlfall<\/a>\u00a0has been writing church ministry articles for more 10 years. With his background and training (M.A., M.Div.), Daniel is passionate about inspiring pastors and volunteers in their service to the King. Daniel is devoted to his family, nerdy about SEO, and drinks coffee with no cream or sugar. Learn more about Daniel at his\u00a0blog<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0twitter<\/a>.<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"