Long story short. By high school the desire for independence, adulthood and love begin to take root. After graduation, we move onto college to enhance our minds. Idealism and youthful optimism are the motivation and we are ready to be unleashed. We barge through the doors into the "real world" ready to fight the world alone. Little do we know that the world leaves a booby trap that demoralizes and crushes. The banana peel of death, lying in wait right outside.
This is called "livin la vida loca" -- Living the crazy life. The Bible tell us that the rain falls on the just and unjust alike. Life's booby traps and hang-ups have the potential to cause one to lose their optimism and even their faith. Life's problems can also create opportunity and hope.
As a species, humans are social creatures. We desire relationship, love and guidance. As Christians, our desire for a relationship with God is reflected in everyday living. In general, independence is directly related to interdependent relationships. Proper placement of relationships help to achieve interdependence. What is best put in order is God, church, family, pastors and leaders, friends and peers.
God is the most important relationship in you life. However, you can only achieve a proper relationship with Him if you choose to accept that all relationships are ordered by Him. For instance, one who neglects his family, quits his job and is outright unreliable because he has to pray all day long may not truly know God.
Get planted in a Church and stay there. I was reading in a Christian forum and I was baffled by the amount of pseudo-biblical advice given to this woman who wasn't getting "fed" at her church anymore. She was advised by the people on this forum to leave the church and find a place where she can get fed.
Scripture doesn't tell anybody to be fed. instead we are to be subject to the governing authorities placed in our lives by God. What separates Christianity from all other world religions is that it is not introspective. We do not seek personal enlightenment but we live to serve others. If you are not being fed at your church, it may be time to start feeding others. When you do, you will find your perspective changing in radical ways.
Family should be placed in a position of importance but never take the place of Christ. Guidance from parents, your spouse, your cousins and others must be placed in perspective. Family, even Christian families, have a bias to you and your feelings. Love your family and take their advice. It is usually beneficial, but not always.
Pastors and Leaders
The wisdom of pastors and elders can save a lot of heartache in your life. But one should judge whom they choose to submit to. There are a few questions to ask. Does my pastor seek to lift himself up? Does he preach good doctrine? What is his reputation in the community? I choose to submit to my leadership because the evidence of integrity is there. Often times I am offended at what my pastor says but I do what he says unquestionably because his life is ordered and fruitful.
Friends and Peers
Good friends lend an ear and pray for you. They encourage, promote and are just plain fun to be around. But friends are not pastors. They should be placed in an area close to familial relationships. Advice should be taken but also confirmed by Scripture and by pastors or leaders.
Relationships in our lives are like an ecosystem and can only be sustained by the proper placement of the integral components. As you continue livin la vida loca, remember that we were created to have relationship with God and man. If we love God then we must also love His ways. He has placed order in the universe as well as in our relationship with others.